Menu of Common Problems:

Below is a list of common problems often associated with the game of golf. If you have ever had a golf partner that is guilty of one (or more) of these problems you know that sometimes there is no polite way to say that their etiquette skills are less than ideal. Here is your chance! You may select up to six common problems to be sent to your fellow golf partner. After submitting the problems you will be asked to give the email address of your golf partner. The email will be sent anonymously, however, you do have the option to allow the recipient of the email to know who sent them the email by entering your email address.

You may select up to six problems:

Talks while the ball is rolling
Throws clubs
Throws ball(s)
Throws beer cans
Throws fits
Spends a lot of time talking to the cart girls
Tells really offensive bad jokes
Wants free counseling on personal & business problems
Wants to give free counseling on personal & business problems
Swears often
Chews gum
Chews tobacco
Brings a flask full of whiskey and drinks too much
Plays with an illegal ball
Whines about what a bad lie he got when he misses the shot
Never replaces the flag stick
Picks up flag stick & holds it half mast as soon as he finishes his putt
Jumps out of cart while it's still rolling
Yells at others on the course when he sees someone he knows
Is always selling what he sells for a living
Seems oblivious to everyones' play in the group
Always stands in the field of vision of others who are putting
Talks while others are putting
Talks on the tee box while others are driving
Talks & talks
Leaves beer cans everywhere on the course
Leaves cigarette butts on the green
Drives golf cart too fast
Drives cart too slow
Takes too much time to play
Gets on stomach to see the putt line
Lies about golf accomplishments
Lies about sexual exploits
Lies about business acumen
Lies about any other thing that seems good to lie about
Believes the cart girl has special feelings for him
Changes clothes in car
Wears SHORT shorts
Carries from 15-18 clubs
Refuses to mark his ball
Carries more crap in his bag than you could find at a flea market
Always needs to "borrow" a ball - since he never has more than two in his bag
Does not have the ability to count past eight
Never has any tees in his bag and searches for them on each tee box
Acts as a part-time groundskeeper repairing everyone's ball marks
Never repairs divots
Relieves himself at will anywhere on the course he finds a tree or bush
Dumps crap in the basket of the cart
Stuffs crap in every compartment of the cart
Never polishes his shoes
Never cleans his clubs before, during or after he plays
Stands on the fender of the cart to see the line better
Brings girly magazines to read in the cart
Does forestry work in clearing a path for his ball in the woods
Insists on driving the cart as close to the green as possible
Claims that he always makes that shot when he misses one
Claims his putting is the result of - you name it
Claims his poor iron play is due to - you name it
Regularly claims he didn't have enough warm-up time
Blames poor play on new clubs or old clubs
Blames poor shot making on slow play
Comments about his colleague's swing
Comments about the difficulty of the lie
Comments about the wind
Calls himself an idiot, jerk, fool, chocker, clown, stupid, or some other profane thing after he misses a shot he rarely makes anyway
Loves to gossip
Offers religious insight and conversion assistance to others
Diagnoses the ailments of others
Routinely, virtually every time he plays says, "I never play like this"
Asks what club someone just hit
Gives suggestions to others on their 'swing mechanics', 'head tilt', 'weight shift' and other amateur observations
Wants to tell you what he learned in his last lesson
Offers 'constructive ' comments about how to improve someone's shot making
Announces his swing thoughts
Explains his pre-shot routine
Complains about the course design
Refuses to hit a provisional ball
Claims ignorance of the rules when he violates them
Uses illegal balls
Uses range balls
Will not mark ball before play and announce mark
Will not announce second ball mark on provisional shot when he is required to make one
Announces "winter rules" when he moves his ball in the fairway
Insists everyone take a mulligan if they want to after his errant drive
Claims he has a mulligan he can use later because he didn't take two shots off the tee
Never hits out-of-bounds regardless of his obvious boundary violation(s)
Wants to take a drop out-of-bounds to save time
Always wants to keep everyones' score
Delays writing his triple bogey for several holes and then catches the score up recording one or two shots less
Never announces his score at the end of the hole
Has a 6 handicap at cocktail parties
Has a variable handicap depending on the scramble makeup
Actually has at least an 18 handicap - if previous scores were scored properly
Prefers to play from the front tees
Expects his playing partners to give putts to one another "in the leather" which can mean up to three feet
Has a bird-dog nose for his ball that appears lost in the woods
Gets confused on his score but never his opponents
Always wants to go to the sand trap to play his ball by himself to "speed things up"
Always wants to play with the same partner in any fore-some
Uses a variety of balls - permits any ball found to be his
Picks up ball on green without marking
Sticks something in the green to mark ball
When replacing ball on the green, gently tosses ball a few inches closer to the hole
Is always the first one on the green to "mark his ball"
Plays out of turn
Needs help finding his ball because he never pays any attention to where he hit it
Claims he is not permitted by his handicap to "take" any more than a double bogey
Has more hybrids than real clubs
Uses foot to move ball in rough
Overtly moves ball in the rough
Moves ball from rough to the fairway.
Claims "roots" in the path of the club so ball must be moved (most fairways have few roots)
Never turns in an accurate score for handicap
Never plays in a tournament where actual scores are recorded
Loves to play Pro-Am but finds no embarrassment announcing his score while having played from the front tees while the pro players played from the back tees
Plays golf primarily to sell whatever he sells for a living
Leaves golf clubs all over the course
Dresses like a PGA pro pretending to be one
Smokes nasty cigars like Mikey Jordan
Wants to bet way too much like Mikey Jordan
Is terrified of a 12 inch putt or actually any putt
Will rarely play golf anywhere but on his club course
Does not appreciate the game of golf is played by rules
Has no respect for the game of golf or his companions who play by the rules

If you do not see the Mulligan you need and would like to suggest one, please go to our "Add Problem Form".

"Hold on...I think I have it in my cart."